then | now.

I knew I needed to write again. I didn't know what or why. 

Now I do. I wish I didn't. 

I began this blog five years ago, overwhelmed by the tangle of emotions created by my father's diagnosis. I return to this place overwhelmed by the tangle of emotions created by his death. 

In 2008, I didn't know what would happen. I didn't know what to do. 

I have some of the answers now, but so many more questions. 

Then was hard. Now is harder. 

Writing it out helped some then. Maybe it will again.